google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
