the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
