The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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