if you like me you must not know who I am
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
