You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
