I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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