You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
