You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
