I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
