ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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