I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
