that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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