I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
