dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
When are your genitals available?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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