cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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