There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
