I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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