he told me I talked like a deaf person
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
