Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
