kristin has been a bad kristin
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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