With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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