Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
