id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
