My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
