I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
