but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dignity is for republicans.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
