so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
