keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think people are normalizing furries
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
