The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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