didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
