when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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