I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
