We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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