Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
