i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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