guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
