Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
