U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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