Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
