you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
