happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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