They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
