The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
