U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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