On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
