He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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