i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
