"it" just moved
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
