your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Text me some of your sweat
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
