I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
